Will I need a name tag in Heaven?
Well if I have done this life correctly, I guess I won’t. But suppose I have withheld myself from God, hid behind the tree when I thought He was looking for me, averted my eyes when walking down the street?
How about when He said, “Excuse me, would you like to spend some time together on Sunday morning”? Am I only answering His mail that is addressed to Current Resident?
Why is it so hard to accept that He knows me so well, that His “Kate radar” functions 24/7? Because I’m afraid? Because I don’t want anyone to know me that well? Because if you know me that well, how could you love me?
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; ” Jeremiah 1 1.
That’s a hard one. Before I formed you in the womb…. before! So even knowing every single thing about me You still went ahead and formed me. My next words are: in spite of who I am…. Yours are: because of who you are.
Before becoming a Secular Franciscan, I thought God was ‘aware’ of me. On the mountain in the crowd of the 5000, being hungry after spending the day listening to Jesus preach, He knew I was there but maybe not exactly where. Now I feel like Jesus would say, “Wait; Kate didn’t get any fish and bread. No, please, take it…..I saved it just for you.”
In my very human mind, I thought God wouldn’t be interested in knowing me. He had so, so many others to look after. People who suffer more; people who need Him more; people who love Him more; people who deserve Him more.
I need my name tag on here on Earth because I have a hard time believing God can love me as I am…warts and all. “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Again from Jeremiah 31 1. Maybe Jeremiah had trouble with his name tag, too.
I am coming late to maturity in faith, but thankfully, I’m getting there. I know….can feel…that God knows right where I am on that mountain. I don’t need my name tag any more to know who I am and the best part is that I know God knows me without needing that name tag. He always has!
copyrighted kate kleinert, ofs
